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Sticky | My name is Hazel and this is my primary posting space online. Here you'll find photos i've taken, links to things I like, and general innane ramblings. If you would like to continue on to more AESTHETIC , you'll find the appropriate links on the sidebar. Although the writing is my main focus here, the overall design of it is important to me too, and I hope to improve it over time. I always love to hear from new friends on neocities, especially those with good advice. I often write in stream of conciousness to help my get thoughts out of my head, which I do at the risk of dramatising my own life. With that in mind, if you're still here, I hope you enjoy it.

<-- Add me on Skype: Add me on Steam ---> steam
I also have a tumblr right here.

(#5) 12-23-16
A good illustration of how poor I was (am) is how long this update took without home internet. I'm currently sharing with a neighbor, nice of them. I think I'm becoming an alcoholic. It's currently 4am and I've drank every day this month. I believe going to school is going to work out, which will be very nice. I find myself baragging friends with constant text walls about religion and politics, so I won't do that here, though that's about all on my mind for some reason. I'm getting very involved in my union, so that could take me somehwere. God damn, who is reading this. I would be very impressed if it was anyone. Leave me a comment on neocities if you are. It would be cool of you. I meant to post more constructive stuff here but it's just turning into unfiltered whining and blogposts. So it goes I suppose. Thanks for reading, much love.

(#4) 12-04-16
God damn I'm poor right now. Money didn't last as long as I hoped. Luckily I found a job in a deli, and I do have food on the table. There's a certain quality of mood that comes with being broke for a long period of time. It's kind of an extropscective (is that the word? opposite of introspective?) quality. I watch people doing things instead of doing them myself. On my bike ride to work the other day I saw a group of korean girls walking alone in the smoke with their violins and it was really a s t h e t i c, but I didn't manage a picture because I didn't want to seem like a creep. People still seem to be spending a lot of their time talking about the president-elect Trump, but I've lost the energy. I would take being seen as a man by the government if I could look like a woman on the outsode.. I wish I had the drive to be more punky about this stuff, but it's a work in progress. I deffenitely look less fuck with-able than I did a year ago but depression is such a bitch. I need a hobby, I want to make something all the time. I would do a lot to stop working and just build bikes or something and never leave my town. Hopefully going to schpool works out, that'd be something. Not sure why I want to go when a foreign language degree is worth nothing and I see everyone else struggling to get through it. I must hate myself or something. Not sure when the next site update it happening, but it is. This is still very therapuetic for me. Ah well. Thanks for reading, much love.

--------losing myself till the end, losing myself till the end, losing myself till the end, losing myself till the end, losing myself till the end, losing myself till the end--------

(#3) 11-13-16
It has been [0] days since the last site feature broke. It has been [0] days since the author broke. (careful not to cut yourself on that edge). Warning blogpost: The catering and dining service I worked for layed off a lot of us, and my position wasn't safe because I had been floating since my original vegetarian cook position was cut from the budget. The region is a little bit unfun to live in right now anyhow (a mid sized town in Appalachia), since so many alt-right fuckboys have been shouting at people and waving their battleflags around since we're all in love with the millionaire from New York now apparently, and a series of fires on the mountain have cause air quality to plummut. I sat outside with a scarf around my mouth, bundled up in the cold to watch the results on my phone. I found myself trailing off to the distant, noisy but not so noisy bustle of smokers and late night food delivery trucks. Our town in so odd, still rural enough to see the "real" mountain folk, who would go to church if they trusted the government enough to use their roads, but still enough of a growing modern town that we have Korean food and a drug problem. I get lost in it a lot, in multiple ways. I feel like I can't quite focus on anything, and having a mood like that to latch on to is important to me. At risk of sounding dramatic, I'm currently writing this using the internet in an after hours art department room, which has this weird sometimes calm, sometimes the start of a B rated horror movie feel to it. Anyhow, about the job, I'm not worried, I have enough money to pay the rent till Febuary and to buy myself estrogen pills, and this is certainly not the first time I've had to make do. Such is life. For anyone whose reading these things, have some music links and a Japanese practice sheet to learn hiragana and katakana, which I'll attempt to use when posting any of my Japanese practice when I can avoid using the kanji. A further explanation of the difference can come later, or I may post my paper I did for freshman Japanese, but for now google is your friend. I still want to snap a few pictures, but that'll take either some money to replace my film, or replace my phone, and neither are a luxury afforded to me right now. After typing this I also plan on adding another page in my chain. But anyways, enough rambling, however therapeutic. Thanks for reading, much love.

(#2) 11-6-16
I am way too drunk to code right now, I think I just delted something maybe?? Well thanks for reading, much love.

(#1) 11-2-16
The homepage is officially completed. View count is currently at 2,300. The most "about me" that I want to do is here: I am 21, a transgirl, pagan, foreign language student, probably depressed, made this website. Right now i'm planning to add some creepy gifs on the "further" link while the halloween spirit still resides in me. The plan is for each page to have a simple "further" and "back from where you came" link in a linear order, which should be fun as the site ages, hopefully the rabbit hole goes pretty deep. If anyone is interested in sending me the code for a page to add to this chain i'd be glad to add it, although I'm not currently paying neocities, so options are limited. The plan is to replace the sidebar gif on a fairly regular basis as well, although formatting might be an issue there. As far as content on the homepage goes, I want to take some photos of a local abandoned factory before construction begins on it, and also plan to post some of my Japanese practice as well as practice tips. Additionally I'd like to add a guestbook link in either the footer with my skype contact, or in the sticky. Shoutout to suyu for inspiration on this Thanks for reading, much love.